Sometimes God gives you everything… More than your
expectation and that was the exact day for me. The only day of my life when I
felt so complete and overwhelmed… The job letter in my pocket a beautiful lake
view in front of my twinkling eyes and she,…. Sitting just next to me… What
else could wish for…. I was overwhelmed feeling of getting everything whatever
I dream for. We were like such for the
past one hour silently capturing the view in our eyes.. Nither she said a word
and nor I tried to break the moment of intense silence… We love to sit like
this .. Silently… She says with eyes and gesture and I reply in the same way… For this habit, we
used to be taunted like Silent couple… I am very calm, patient and sorted kind
of person and so is she.. I don’t know how our chemistry gets fit in chemical
equations because All I know about love is OPPOSITE ATTRACT… But in our case,
she is just like me... She even never said YES to me… All she managed to reply
was some happy facial expressions and a nod from which I managed to calculate
that she does like me… After school, we
met twice and this was the last time before I board on the ship for my first
job. This was our favorite place to spend that quality time with each other. I
don’t know what magic she beheld with her that her presence made me so happy
fulfilling every time.. My head was overloaded with such thoughts of heading my
life with her and just then I spotted a little who just sat on the rock. That
bird fascinated me so much that I decided to break the silence and say her “
Look what a lovely flower”. As my words disturbed her thought process with
hustle all she replied was “ where” ……… I tried to help her wandering eyes with
the direction of my hand, so I tried to skip my hand which she was holding tightly.
But she was in no mood to release my hand and she tightens her grip on my hand
just to ensure that bird watching doesn’t worth to separate my hand from
her. Within few minutes she found the
bird but didn’t comment on it… I just wanted to break the silence from her side
too so I just asked her “ where is its soul mate” She smiled and said” Maybe on ship” and we laughed… I was trying
not to make any eye contact with her as I can’t see tears in her eyes… But then the time got over.. she needed to
go…. But she kept on holding my hand as much as possible… “ wait for me”
were My last words to her … and her
reply was ….JUST A SMILE….
I knew that life is
going to reciprocate after these magical moments… JOB, SHIP SEA NO INTERNET, NO
CALLS… ONE YEAR CONTRACT these all things again started horrifying me as she
left ….
AND I LEFT TO MY NEW DESTINATION……………
Finally,
that morning of departure came with a broke me completely, my heart was
sinking, my eyes were denying to hold the emotions of losing everything. It was
the feeling of losing the home, my friends, village, parents and Yes…. Losing
her. The few minutes were left for the bus to take me away. It was a chilling
morning but still all my friends, the family came here to bid me goodbye at the
bus stop. Their presence and words were strengthening me but deep inside I was
breaking ..my heart was saying.. “please someone stop me… I don’t wanna go”…
But the truth was that I had to go.. At my last moments, I said bye to all and
hugged each, touched the feet of my mother and took her blessings.. She too was
holding a thunderstorm of emotions but she managed to say bye to me with a
smile… As I was stepping inside the bus it felt that I missed something… I
missed the bye of her …. I missed her glimpse… ..Yet I know that she hates the
idea of the last meeting and saying bye. But I was expecting her arrival and
From past one hour my eyes were madly looking for her face in every girl.. as she told me that she will try to come… I
don’t know why I was feeling that she is there … I was feeling from somewhere
she is looking at me… Maybe or maybe it was just my prediction… With her
thoughts, I boarded the bus and started my journey to some new destination… My
father was with me to accompany me to Mumbai and this was the only thing which
provided some relief to my aching heart. As the bus moving all I could
recapitulate was my childhood, friends, school times, her smile…. and the
memories started haunting me… I was looking outside the window just to fill my
eyes with the scenery of my place as much as possible.. The bus was moving
forward and memories were driving me backward as if I was pendulum.. just then my sad eyes captured some wonderful
moments… two of my friends in bike were chasing the bus… All thoughts vanished
and their presence put a smile on my face.. Soon the bike reached parallel to
the bus and they were next to my window…That moment made me utmost happy. But
the fabulous thing just happened next to it. The boy sitting second on bike
jumped a little and throw a pink colored piece of paper to me through the
wide-open window with the instructions “take care of this letter more than
yourself. ” OH GOD….. I don’t know either they used some magic spell or that
paper had some magic..on that little moment I was on the top of world…
REALLY………. I don’t know my father who was sitting next to me heard this or
not… But I used all my clever skills to hide that pink paper from his eyes and
put it in my pocket safely… the bike and friends accompanied me that way for a
half kilometer and then they choose a U-turn… weaving bye-bye to me.. This time
their see off was not making my heart heavy because there was something in my
pocket which was solely responsible to lift my mood… That time I was only waiting
for the bus to stop so that I can see that letter.. See how people change… Once
I was wishing the bus to go slow so that I can console my heart that I am still
at my place and now this letter in my pocket made me wish that bus go fast and
reach to next stop as soon as possible.. It was all because of my excitement of
reading her words on that pink letter.
My excitement came to an end as the bus halt for sometimes
on the bus stop. My father chooses go outside the bus to be in open air while
decided to be at my seat. As my father disappeared from my eyes.. It took me no
time to open the letter… the letter was some pamphlet of a computer training center colored with pink. On the plain side, something was written with a blue
pen “ hey………..I came to say bye to you.. but you didn't look at me…take care..
and come soon .. I will wait.... bring something for me“
These were the words which that so-called romantic letter
had in it. A deep meaning letter…
After two days I was there on the ship. A big ship… Everything
was looking extravagant for me .. On the very first day, all rules were told
to, all instructions given to me... Yet it was training but they were paying
for it and I was supposed to work. The few weeks of work went awesome. I loved
everything, the new environment, sailing on the sea, meeting new people and
making new friends, The sea was smooth and so was my life… But soon the things
got changed…. With the passage of time just like the roughness of the sea, my
life also got tough… There was my instructor who kept on torturing me every
time. Speaking in English, be ready all the time, Have the watch of 14 hours,
Eat whatever is available no matters you are Vegan or non-vegan. These things
started demoralizing my strength.. I started to miss home a lot... Now there
was no Mom with glass milk to whom I could say “ Just go Mom, don't irritate me”
There was no brother with whom I could go for a long drive…
Here was no SHE with whom I could see the dreams of the future. The only thing
I had was the bad days.. Seriously BAD DAYS…….. The crew members were no humans
..they were devils and had no sympathy ..they treated me as bad as they could.
They left no chance to humiliate me,.. rest was done by the roughness of sea…..
But there was no escape other than jumping on the sea… I cried .. I cried hard looking at the
picture of my family.. reading her letter… I cried .. but no one heard or say
cared…. I sealed her letter with transparent tape to put new life in it… As her
letter was putting life in me… That was the first and last thing which I used
to see before going to watch…. Reading her letter …just to keep my heart
breathing even when the instructor yells on me…
After about 5 months I got the chance of calling home… I was all emotional
moment… I cried on phone.. for the first time my parents heard me crying MOM
said “ I keep the phone with me as if your phone will come anytime” These words
made me cry aloud… Yet few words of my father brought the motivation in me… It
lasts for just 15 minutes. Then I called her. But her number was switched off.
Anxiously I called my friend … After a few calls, he picked and answered “
Hello……hello……..” I was not able to hear anything rather than some music on
DJ… He kept on saying hello ..hello… I cut the call... It was just waste to say
anything because I knew he must be busy with friends in dancing in some
function… This made me sadder… I sat on my room and through a small window I
could see the waves in the sea... Just like those waves were inside me… I was
missing HOME… That was it………..
But my
feelings had nothing to do with the instructor. His bad behavior never changed
to me. The food on the ship was not at all good. It made it, soon I was
diagnosed with food poisoning… But even then I was compiled to do the duty…
That day I was not able to stand even for a while... I was feeling drowsy and
my body was aching… I kept myself standing as much I could until I get faint… I
never felt so alone and dying before… I was a happy family guy but now I was
ill, almost alone in some sea... That was my reality. Soon I felt on floor
unconsciously…. I have been there for one day until the next person came for
the exchange of duty……. Soon I was given treatment and taken back to conscious…
That was the horrifying time for me. I felt as if I am dead… But hopefully, I
was alive……… It was just like my second birth…By dealing with that hell time
soon I realized that one year contract is coming to an end... There were just
30 years left for the homecoming. I was excited. This happy feeling filled me
with enthusiasm and made me happy…. Any torture of my instructor was not making
me feel bad. any long hour duty was not frustrating me … because..because… I
was going back to home………
The day of my sign off was
wonderful. I could imagine how my mom will react when she will see me.. I could
imagine the long drive with my friends…. I could imagine HER expressions and
smile when I will give her the Anklet I bought for her…..
And finally, I was at home… I was happy that I did my job in the best
possible way. I was happy because I survived against all odds… I was happy
because I was at home after a long one year…
I met every
one … gave them gifts ..talked a lot.. I was the great time.. At evening I met
my friend and asked about her… With a sad face he passed the information “ she got married brother,, two months ago.” I was like “ stop kidding, its not a movie scene.” All
he replied was " you can see yourself, I will take you to her college."
Those words were enough to break me… I stayed strong for the
past year but this one minute was enough to kill me….. I felt as something
broken inside me and I could feel the pieces which were scratching my skin……….
The next 12 hours were longer than 12 months which I spend on ship .. I had no
dinner and all I did was wondering on the floor with a thought how can she get
married…….. It's not real……. And so on..... I was fond of sleeping but that
night .. sleep was disappeared from the thoughts. I kept looking on her letter
and the PAYAL I got for her… All I could read in that letter was " I will
wait".
Next morning .. the SUN SHINED
but it brought the darkness in my life. A different kind of darkness. ………. It
took me no time to get ready and drove to her college with my friend…………. We
sat on the parapet from where she was supposed to pass to enter the
college…During that wait of two hours, my friend told me everything about
friends, girls in college, highlights of the village..but I understood nothing.
NOTHING at all. My eyes were just looking for her.. And that’s it………… She came
… but she was not my girl. She was different… She was reflecting as newly
wedded bride… She had a Bindi on her forehead.. She was wearing a dark red
suit….. She was all changed. She was looking beautiful as a new bride ..but I
was not mine… This was the first time I was not liking her looks.. It took a lot of guts to stand and in front
of her.. As she saw me her eyes got confused as her expressions were not happy
and not sad. All she managed to ask was “ how are you” and my only reply was “ Are you
happy?” She didn’t reply and just nodded
her head with a smile… The same as once she did say YES to me……….. The same
way… Then she left… and this time also she didn’t say bye……..
That day was enough to shatter me ………….I was again sitting the side of
lake…… our favorite place……..but this time she was not there to hold my hand….
Her Anklet was still there in my pocket with the letter…….. But she was all
gone….. Yet, I had no complaints with her, not with destiny. Even I am thankful
to her that her thoughts, dreams, and letter made me strong enough to face the
challenges during my rough times… She didn’t say a word to me but her eyes
explained it all. She learned to accept destiny and be happy with it…And from
that day onward I also accepted the reality… It took me some time to get over
through the pain of heartbreak but soon it got healed. Now, I am not so
emotional yet strong and mature. I know its life and I have to live it the way
it is….. Since then a lot of girls gave in my life but none of them understood
me .. the way she used to.. none of them loved me .. the way she loved me...
Now she is a mom of little two years daughter but still, I remember her as the
girl sitting next to me..HOLDING my hand and saying ‘I will wait’
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